Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
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