he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Let's paint friendship bongs
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
