You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
