Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I can't turn off my feet"
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
