What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
