Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
