i can't believe i had my finger in that
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
