i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
