R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
