My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
