hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
