dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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