I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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