If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
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