i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
