i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Two words: nipple clamps
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