Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
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