Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
me + whiskey = a bad person
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
