the new term for farting is butt boxing.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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