VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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