I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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