If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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