he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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