I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
