If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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