He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
