So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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