The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
