Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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