Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
