this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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