North Korea, Best Korea!
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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