All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
