Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
