Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
