The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
