I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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