We're facebook friends in real life
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
