I'm gonna have a badass scar
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
