We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
