That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
