no, he came in my armpit
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
