god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
