we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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