Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
