I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
