Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
