Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
