Do vagina's smell?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
