haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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