Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
