Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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