Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
