Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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