Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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