North Korea, Best Korea!
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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