I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
