you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
