i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just blew my weed a kiss
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
