U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
