so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Damn victory sex feels great
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