Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I have fence marks all over my body
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